I have been in a bad mood all week. I am feeling a little stressed, a little down, a little overwhelmed. I started feeling this way even before Monday started because of the over-scheduled week I was about to face. Autry had a concert on Friday, which meant many late nights at OCHSA which in turn meant many late-night drives to and from OCHSA. In addition to this Tru had numerous days at the golf course last week, and Decca started back up in piano. Add to all of this my normal daily drive to OCHSA (every morning it takes me an hour round trip), and I was stressed.

Monday and Tuesday were not as overwhelming as I thought, and I realized that I may just get through the week. Wednesday morning I woke a little more stressed and down, but I still thought I could get through it all. Then Wednesday morning around 10:00 I looked out my back window, and I saw something that I thought I would never see – a crime scene. The whole nature area was closed and there were cop cars and detective cars everywhere. I had a bad feeling that something terrible had happened, but I wasn’t prepared for what I found out.

What I found out was that a young man, only 14-years-old, took his life in the nature preserve the night before. Roughly around midnight this boy died. All alone in the dark he died; in the nature preserve, the beautiful peaceful nature preserve that I love so much. I couldn’t believe it. I was in shock.

The rest of my week was spent thinking about why this happens. Why do kids fall through the cracks? Why do people look the other way when they see bullying (apparently the boy had been bullied at the local high school)? How can no one, not one teacher or parent or friend, see that someone is struggling so much? How can one of the best high schools in America fail one of their students?

Of course I am sure many of us can answer these questions, as situations like this happen all to frequently. But in this day and age, when there is so much awareness of these situations, it should not happen. Children should be able to go to a school and feel safe. Parents should be aware that they have choices in their child’s education and feel confident in their legal right to withdraw a child from any school and homeschool them if they need to. And there should be legal ramifications for those that torment other children, especially when the abuse leads to such a terrible ending.

But this is not the case, and the thought of that had me felling down. And the thought of that poor boy, out in the nature preserve all by himself, had me down. How can a place that means so much to me be the place where one ends their life? How can I go out and walk by the spot everyday and not think about him? Why am I so stressed and worried about my week just because it is a little over-scheduled? Why are my kids so blessed with a life where they can be who they are with no worries of other’s thoughts?

I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I do know that I am appreciative of all I have, all that my children have. I do get stressed sometimes, overwhelmed trying my hardest to juggle the job of raising three wonderful children all by myself. There is only one of me, and sometimes I feel stretched to my limit. But I am blessed, and I know it. I appreciate it.

A day after the boy’s body was discovered I walked by the spot where he was found. It would be hard to avoid it for very long, so I decided to face it head on. At the spot was some flowers and this balloon.

In honor of this boy, who I have never met, I want to get out the word of the new movie Bully. I hope all teens and pre-teens see this film, and I hope the film has the ability to influence someone’s life for the better. I believe it can, which is why I signed the petition to change the rating from R to PG-13. In honor of this boy, and all the children who are bullied, please consider signing the petition also.

3 thoughts on “Reflecting

  1. We had a boy, age 14, commit suicide in our neighborhood. Apparently, he had issues with bullying as well. It is such a shame that it is much more common to be bullied than “popular”. I think kids are so angry these days. I know, from experience, bullying had exsisted forever…but it does seem to be getting more violent. Kids have so much more pressure on them these days….I’m looking forward to watching the rest of the video. It is VERY important to talk to our kids about this….

  2. I don’t know what to say when I read stories about children killing themselves. Something is very, very wrong when this happens. Even more wrong that no one stepped up to help them when they needed it. I can’t imagine how absolutely lonely it must feel. Wishing you strength each time you visit your favorite nature preserve Jill.

  3. I don’t know what to say about that. Poor boy. That day, I had been worrying about rehearsals and memorizing my songs. I had felt so sorry for myself. Put my troubles next to that boy’s; and my life seems amazing. I really am thankful for the life we have and how you put so much time into making us happy.


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